Central Vision Podcast
Central Vision Podcast is a conversation about life through a different perspective.
Hosted by Austin and Charity, the Central Vision Podcast brings together people who are blind, have low vision, and the family members, friends, professionals, and advocates who share the journey. Through honest conversations, humor, personal stories, and practical discussions, we explore what it really means to navigate work, relationships, technology, travel, accessibility, independence, and everything in between.
Some episodes feature inspiring guests with unique experiences. Others dive into everyday challenges, awkward moments, helpful tips, or the conversations that don't happen often enough. We believe that sharing real experiences builds confidence, creates understanding, and reminds people they're not alone.
Whether you're living with vision loss, supporting someone who is, or simply want to see the world from a different perspective, there's a seat at the table.
New episodes every week.
Central Vision Podcast
Are We Actually Helping Each Other? | Support, Gatekeeping & Toxic Positivity
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Episode 9 — "Are We Actually Helping Each Other? | Support, Gatekeeping & Toxic Positivity"
“We try not to confuse the visually impaired people with other info in the group.”
Yes. Someone actually said that.
In this episode, Austin and Charity take on a complicated question: What does it actually mean to support someone — and when does “helping” cross the line into deciding what another person should be allowed to see, say, feel or do?
The conversation starts inside the blind and low vision community, where online groups designed to bring people together can sometimes become the very places deciding whose voices, struggles and accomplishments are allowed to be heard.
Austin has some grievances.
From posts being removed for “self-promotion,” to creators struggling to share what they’ve built, to people being criticized simply for talking about the difficult parts of vision loss, Austin and Charity question where the line should actually be drawn.
Because there is a difference between exploiting a community and building something for one.
A poem about blindness might be welcomed.
A free collection of those poems might be welcomed.
But put those same poems into a book and charge $9.99 — and suddenly it may be considered inappropriate promotion.
The value of the work didn’t change.
Money entered the conversation.
And support isn't always a transaction.
Sometimes it's buying something. Sometimes it's sharing it. Sometimes it's leaving a comment, celebrating what someone created or simply giving them the opportunity to show people what they've accomplished.
But the conversation goes much further than creators and businesses.
Austin shares a message he received from an administrator of a blind and visually impaired group explaining that they try not to share certain information because they don't want to “confuse the visually impaired people.”
That raises a much bigger question:
Who gets to decide what another adult is capable of understanding or choosing for themselves?
From there, Austin and Charity get into another side of support that almost everyone — disabled or not — has experienced.
Sometimes you don't need someone to fix your problem.
Sometimes you don't need to hear that everything happens for a reason.
And sometimes you definitely don't need to be told that “it could be worse.”
Sometimes you just need someone willing to sit beside you while something sucks.
You’ll hear about:
• When moderation becomes gatekeeping
• Why making money doesn't automatically invalidate something you've created
• Being called a “crybaby” for talking honestly about something difficult
• How one cruel comment can stop someone else from asking for help
• Toxic positivity and why constantly trying to make someone feel better can actually feel dismissive
• The difference between listening to someone and trying to fix them
• Why everyone reaches acceptance at a different pace
• Learning to support someone from where they are — not where you think they should be
Austin and Charity also acknowledge something important: most people in these communities are incredibly supportive.
But the loudest voices can sometimes make a space feel very different than it actually is.
And when someone finally works up the courage to talk about something they're struggling with, one dismissive response can be enough to make them wonder whether they should have said anything at all.
That matters far beyond blindness.
The things people share publicly are often only a fraction of what they're actually experiencing privately.
Support shouldn't mean telling someone how they should feel.
It shouldn't mean rushing them toward acceptance.
And it shouldn't mean deciding what they're capable of handling.
Sometimes support is advice.
Sometimes it's encouragement.
Sometimes it's a share, a comment or simply showing up.
And sometimes it's just saying:
I hear you.
Take your time.
🎙️ CENTRAL VISION PODCAST
Website:
https://centralvisionpodcast.com
YouTube:
https://youtube.com/@centralvisionpodcast
Instagram:
https://instagram.com/centralvisionpodcast
Facebook:
https://facebook.com/centralvisionpodcast
TikTok:
https://tiktok.com/@centralvisionpodcast
Learn more and listen at www.centralvisionpodcast.com
Music licensed through Soundstripe.
Code: OLC6M9RDMQABNHKX
I'll be offended either way. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00She said, We try not to confuse the visually impaired people with other info in the group. I'm not going to tell you, tell people what your name is. The admin of a blind visually impaired group, you have the audacity to say something like that.
SPEAKER_03That is very sad.
SPEAKER_00That is very sad.
SPEAKER_06Hey everyone, I'm Charity.
SPEAKER_00And I'm Austin. Welcome to the Central Vision Podcast.
SPEAKER_06We're two hosts living with vision loss, sharing honest conversations about life through the lens of blindness and low vision.
SPEAKER_00From relationships and travel to careers and technology.
SPEAKER_06From family and confidence to accessibility and everything in between. So whether you're living with vision loss yourself, love, support, or know someone who is, or you're simply curious, looking for a different perspective, you're in the right place.
SPEAKER_00Specifically, one thing that I have a little bit of grievance with, you could say. Charity knows I have a lot of grievances with it. And it's not just this section, but we're going to talk about the idea of general support online within our blind and low vision community. It is something that seems very muddy. There is not a lot of recognition for the good things, and there's not policing on the bad things. People are policing the things that shouldn't be policed. It's very confusing out there. Our community is the wild, wild west for some reason. So we're going to talk about a few things. Um charity does not know much about this first topic, and that is about the admins. So for any of you out there that are admins of our blind community, I am talking to you very specifically. Now, I am not the only person with these grievances about having our posts taken down, things like that, because of self-promotion and advertisement and things like that. Now, since charity doesn't see much of this and I do, she's going to be a great partner in this and to it's kind of ask the questions that some of you may be wondering, the admins may be wondering, or just someone who has no idea what's going on, you're right there with her. So I'm gonna explain to all of you what the issue actually is. So I myself, I have Central Vision Podcast here. I have Rare Perspective Co., another brand that was built in the vision loss and blind community. Now, I have seen numerous people out there. I know some of you are watching that have your own podcast, you have your own brands. Maybe you're a poet, maybe you're an artist, maybe uh you have some kind of service, you're a personal trainer for blind and low vision, and you do it remotely. There are so many different things. However, for some reason, we get policed on these things, and our our posts get taken down, or the the admin comes at us and bans us from the page because we put these posts out there, and that's crazy. Now, I know I've talked to you, Charity, about this because what we're doing right now, would you I I mean it's a little biased asking you this, but you have had people come up to you, just like me, that we are actually helping a lot of people with the things that we talk about, right?
SPEAKER_06Exactly. Uh-huh. And just this weekend, I uh I approached you and I said, Why, you know, somebody's talking on one of these groups about something that I would love to reference them to the Central Vision Podcast, and it would not even let me comment as Central Vision Podcast, which I thought was kind of strange, and I think that's what kind of stirred the pot for Austin today.
SPEAKER_00It definitely encouraged it. And I mean, that's it's a weird thing. So, for people listening, uh, you know, some of you have vision loss, some of you don't, but you could probably all understand this is kind of odd to where for us to post our new podcast and things like that, which is made from two people with vision loss into the vision loss communities on Facebook, we have to typically get on our personal profiles and then post them into the groups, and then even when we do that, it's not like we're getting paid, even when we do that, people will take it down and they'll they'll have some issues with it, or like a lot of people won't respond to it. That's kind of weird too. Have you noticed that yourself? To where you'll see some other person make a post, and it's like, how are there a hundred and fifty likes and tons of comments? And you know, some of it's like rage bait too. Like, we're trying to post something really cool that we do, right?
SPEAKER_06You know, and and and like you said, we're not selling anything, it is it's designed to help people within our community and to it's for our community. It's not, we're not making many money off of it, it's simply out there as a resource, and you can't post a resource, and I find that strange.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and you know what's what's okay, this is like one of the the emotional, heartfelt things that just drive me up a wall. And that's you know, building RPC, Rare Perspective Co. Again, for those of you who don't know, I built this brand. I'm wearing one of the shirts right now, if you're watching, but I built this brand out of the blindness and low vision community for the blindness and low vision community. And the reason I got some of the um the fortitude and the motivation to do that was directly influenced from the support that I got from these online groups on Facebook.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00And then then these same groups that I'm posting it into, they're the ones that are shutting me out. And that's so weird to me because support is not a transaction, it is not a dollar. It's not spending money. Support is a like, support is a comment. Hey, I love this, or hey, you know, something I would love to see, or it's commenting on one of our podcasts saying, Man, I really related to this. Have you guys actually ever heard of this happening? That is its own form of support as well. Giving people the opportunity to share it. That is support. Support doesn't mean you go on Amazon and buy it. Now, if that comes with it, then okay, great. But it's not just about the dollar, but if your target audience is within our community, it's really hard to reach our. We can't just like walk around like blind people, blind people, like I can't hold up a sign, they're not gonna see it. You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_06Like it's and the other part of that is um rare perspective co. The thing about that is it is directly for the the blind and visually impaired community. And you offer something to them, you offer them a voice, and it is a way for the blind and visually impaired to express themselves and it and you offer them that. And if you can't if you can't tell them about it, how are they supposed to um benefit from it if they can't know about it?
SPEAKER_00Right, right. Now, but in and there is a difference though, you know, and I get that to where if you're coming onto the pages and you're actually trying to exploit and you're just blowing it up, especially, you know, the the worst example would be you know Mary Kay products in a multi-level marketing thing, and you're coming in like, hey, come buy this. That is different. That I understand, that has nothing to do with us. But when you're talking about made from us, for us, by us, etc., like that's different. And I I've actually used this directly with some admins, maybe some of you are watching. I hope you are, because I've spoken to some of you. You guys have come at me into my DMs. I'm not kidding, guys who are listening. They come into my DMs and get mad at me because I respond to them in a nice calm manner, but I do respond to them and I do not back down. However, um, so I I use this this concept and it's and tell me what you would say, Charlie. So this let's let's say you're the admin, right?
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'm the admin.
SPEAKER_00And I I come in, I say, hey guys, is it okay if I share a poem that I wrote about uh my journey with blindness and whatnot? Is that okay?
SPEAKER_06I would say that would be freaking awesome. Cool.
SPEAKER_00Okay. Then I come back again. I say, hey, I have five that I want to share with you. Can I share five here? Is that okay?
SPEAKER_06I well, why don't you just share one or one or two? Like maybe not five.
SPEAKER_00Well, okay.
SPEAKER_06Are you gonna share five in a row? What are you doing?
SPEAKER_00I yeah, right. No, I mean like five five in a post. Like here, you know, it'd be like sharing share five. Share not boom boom boom boom boom boom boom. Right. Don't don't blow it up. Don't don't take advantage of the feed. Right. Share five. Okay, so that's what I mean. So sharing five in one post. Okay. Now, hey, charity, I uh I put them all in one PDF. I actually had another 20, and I put it one PDF. Here's the link to it. It's free, it's just a Google download, whatever. It's here. Is that cool if I share that on a post?
SPEAKER_06I think that would be even better. Yes, go for it.
SPEAKER_00Right on. So let me ask you something, charity. Yeah, um, this has been benefiting our community, right? It resonates with people, people have been liking it. Would you agree?
SPEAKER_06I would agree. And they don't have to look at it if they don't want to.
SPEAKER_00Correct. Uh well, so let me ask you this. Is it okay if I uh I share this link to an Amazon book because I bound it and put my poems on beautiful pages, maybe with some drawings or whatever, but it costs $9.99. You can buy all 50 of my poems about vision loss. Is that okay?
SPEAKER_06And to that I would say yes, as long as you are not advertising it every day. Like put it out there, give us exposure to it.
SPEAKER_00Correct.
SPEAKER_06But don't tell me about it every day of my life. Yes, Austin, please put that out there.
SPEAKER_00And that is fair, right? Don't abuse the feed and abusing the feed, I understand that. If you're just hitting it over and over and over, like that's not fair, and that doesn't give because the community is about support. Some people need support with something going on with them, some people have a question, some people want to share a new treatment, maybe it's a poem, maybe it's a business, whatever. You can't overtake and be selfish with the feed that everyone sees, you know, and I get that.
SPEAKER_06But but I think it's legit. You should be able to, yes. If I were the admin, go for it.
SPEAKER_00Well, what the weird thing is, is what I continually to find, and this is where I start getting these little tips with some of the people, is that it the only thing that and they can't ever admit it, but it becomes a problem when money gets involved. That now that I'm charging for it, now it's a problem. The the value to our community has not changed.
SPEAKER_06It has not, no.
SPEAKER_00But because I now am asking for money, and and who's to say I don't deserve it? I put all the time and effort into this.
SPEAKER_06Right. You know what I mean? I don't want to give. If I have ten dollars to give, maybe I want to give it to someone who was blind or visually impaired. Right. And it's a legit way to spend my money. I want to know about those things.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And and I like to see myself, you know, like I said, I was encouraged by our very community to pursue something in our very community, despite the challenges that come with it. Right. You know, it's very hard, guys. Everyone listening, it is very, very hard to have any kind of business service or anything to that that does come with money. Because let's be honest, us in our community have a hard time making money sometimes. And to in order to get in front of the people we're trying to get in front of, it's very difficult. But I was encouraged by you all, everyone, and I and I appreciate all of you that have been so amazing on the groups and treating uh most of you treating so many others with so much respect. And that's an amazing thing. But where does the line for support end? Okay, you can I I support you going through something, I support you having a question about something, I support you talking about a treatment, I support that you're making these pums. You know what I don't support is you making money.
SPEAKER_06Ten dollars, right? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00Right and and here's the thing: support isn't, you know, you and I are just talking about support isn't just a transaction. It's you don't have to buy it in order for it to be supporting someone. It could be a comment, it could be a like, it could be a share, it could just be a thumbs up on it, you know, what it whatever. I mean, support comes in different ways, but if anything, if you built something for a community, I would think you'd want to share it with the like you want to see what the community thinks. Like, you know, going to class, like share and show and tell, like, guys, look at my new shoes. Check them out. I run faster, everything, like you know.
SPEAKER_06And not everybody had not everybody in the in that group is going to be posting things about things that they're selling or making or whatever. But those who do, honestly, as long as they're not every day telling me about telling me about what they're selling, I I want to know about it. I want to hear about it. I don't have anything to put out there, but I still want to hear about what others have to put out there.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. And that's such a good point because I love it. I mean, blind community or not, I love when people come up to me, like, hey, can I show you what I've been doing? Absolutely. Like, I can't wait to like see especially to see someone's excitement about it. To me, that is that is just as valuable of support to to give that. I mean, that's what I took with my pain. And also, I like to, and I know I have to be careful with it sometimes to, you know, you have to find the difference between bragging and whatnot. But I when I see, you know, see someone else posting something, that encourages me that, dude, you build a business or like look at your artwork. Like, there's an amazing artist in our community, uh, Rochelle. I hope it's Rochelle, Raquel, Rochelle. I'm sorry if you're watching, but she's an incredible artist. And um, you know, that encourages me so much to see that. Even if she says, like, hey, I'm selling it on my website, like, right on, I'll take a look. I might buy one maybe now, maybe later in the future. But right now, to see that, that feel that fires me up. That says we can do like we are capable just because we have a hard time. She's painting. That's so backwards from what we're supposed to be able to do.
SPEAKER_06And and you know, I I think that we can use um Central Vision Podcast as a as a springboard for some of that, not for all of it. It's not what it's gonna become. But I don't know, I don't know why we couldn't use it as a springboard for some of that. But in the meantime, we have these groups that are um hindering the the process for people who are blind and visually impaired.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you know and why, why?
SPEAKER_06That's the part that I don't understand is the why.
SPEAKER_00Right. No, I I agree, but I do want to tap on that. Like I think we have talked about that, and maybe we should just say it now. You know, let's give people if there's people out there who have a cool business or they're a creator, they create something cool, they they want to flaunt what they have done despite their challenges. Let us know. Send us an email, write a write us a DM, a comment, whatever it is to get in contact with us, let us know. I'm pretty sure that Cherry and I would be more than happy to go and put it right on there and to mention you and mention what you're doing, what your handle is, and try to drive some people there. I mean, I think I think we should all be celebrating each other and celebrating what we're capable of doing despite the hardships that we go through. That is that is amazing to me to see that there are other people out there, and I don't want anyone's light being, you know, darkened just because other people are for some reason gatekeeping your ability to share the share with your world the world that matters what you have done.
SPEAKER_06Just I'm gonna show you, Austin, the picture that I painted over the last week while Melissa was here. You'll buy it, right? Ten bucks.
SPEAKER_00Um I've seen your stick figures before, and let's just say there's a lot to be desired.
SPEAKER_02There is a lot to be desired. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00You ain't no bomb rumors.
SPEAKER_02No, no, I'm not. All I'm gonna say is I tried.
SPEAKER_00Hey. I'll I'll I'll I'll I'll buy I will frame a tried your best.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna share it at some point.
SPEAKER_00Uh maybe we should do that. We should do a share. We'll do a gall uh an online gallery of charity's artwork.
SPEAKER_05I have two pictures so far. Okay, we'll do a one's an abstract and one is trees. Okay, back to grievances.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so grievances, right? Okay, so and let's move out of the gatekeeping sp- Oh, you know what? I do want to hit something very specific.
SPEAKER_05Okay, let's let's hear it.
SPEAKER_00Very specific with gatekeeping. Now, guys, I am going to read this word for word. I told Charity I would not tell her before. Now, there's a lot more that was said in this DM, but this woman said this line to me, and I was so offended.
SPEAKER_06Now, is this against RPC or is this against Central Vision?
SPEAKER_00You know, I'm gonna be honest, I don't remember which one it was.
SPEAKER_06Okay. Okay. Um I'll be offended either way. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00So, right? I love the energy. So uh I shouldn't have highlighted this. It made it so much harder to read. Where are they glasses at? Okay. She said, We try not to confuse the visually impaired people with other info in the group. To confuse us, which means you're per parenting what we can see. You're telling us what we can and cannot see because people will get confused. The blind people are gonna get confused because we're stupid. That's I mean, it sounds yeah.
SPEAKER_06We can't discern for ourselves.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god. And and lady, I'm not gonna tell you, tell people what your name is. You are an admin of a group and you had the audacity. The admin of a blind and visually impaired group, you had the audacity to say something like that.
SPEAKER_03That is very sad.
SPEAKER_00That is very sad. That's very sad, you know, and that offended me for so many reasons. You know, it's that is telling some, that's taking away people's individual choice, their independence to choose if this content's for them, if they like this or don't like this. That's like someone going into a into a uh department store, going into the clothing aisle, whatever, and people pulling out like your husband saying, Nope, you don't look in this, you don't look in this, you don't look in this. This is the only one. I don't want I don't want you to get confused by that jacket.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_00Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_06You know, and it okay, and this is gonna be a bad word. But it's um it's not it's not a curse word, but it's a bad word. It doesn't mean like I'm just saying it. It's almost like censorship.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_06And I know it's not censorship in the like strictest definition of the word, but it feels like censorship.
SPEAKER_00It does. It feels like you know better than us. You you know you you know what's good for us, and that's that is not okay. There's no world.
SPEAKER_06I'd love to know if the moder if the moderator is visually impaired. Uh I find that interesting.
SPEAKER_00I wondered about that too, but I mean, either way, you're admin of a blind and vision loss group.
SPEAKER_06In both ways, it's wrong.
SPEAKER_00You know, and just like who do the you know, again, back to these admins and stuff. Like, who I'm sorry, some of you, who do you think you are? You you're supposed to create an awesome space for everyone that's in our community now that comes with rules, obviously. But you have to be able to define these rules very clearly. And if you are a moderator, if you're an admin on a page, guess what? You have a job to be an admin or a moderator on that page. That requires you to know your rules without hesitation.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_00You know, and that's not if you can't do that, then don't do that. And if you're gonna take down a post, you better know why. You better say it better not just be uh, oh yeah, went against our rules. Um let me tell, let me, yeah, let me tell you, I actually enjoy when this kind of thing happens because I've already gone through the rules and I sit there and wait for this kind of thing to happen. I'm that kind of crazy person, and then they message me, like, yeah, I already went through them. Here's your exact rules. Do you want to tell me where which one I broke?
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00Like, well, well, okay, then put it in your rules to do that, you know? It's just it's if you want that role, then you have to do that. If you can't do that alone, then you have to bring more people to the table. Or just find a system. There's always a way around it, but you have to take the time to do it. In the meantime, don't silence people that shouldn't be silenced, or the creators, or the, you know, some people are genuinely just not great at asking questions. They they they they do try their best, but they don't they don't deliver as well as they should. And you can tell there's some people that don't mean ill will to anyone by the way they said it. It's some you know, in cultures are different too. It's it's just said different, and some people get so mad. But I know, like from being overseas, you have as well that people speak differently, and it's not meant to be offensive or hurtful, it just came off wrong. But instead of constructive can criticism of, hey, I think I know what you're trying to say, I don't think you meant this right. Okay.
SPEAKER_05Right.
SPEAKER_00You know, it just yeah. So that's that's a crazy thing. But that's when it transitions into. I mean, how often have you seen people being jerks, bullies, I mean, absolute maniacs in our groups? I mean, just so rude to others. Have you seen a lot of that?
SPEAKER_06I have not seen a lot. Um, social media is a little bit harder for me, though, than it is for you. Um, so you probably see 10 times more. Than I do, but yeah, I have seen it. Like people who think their opinion is the gospel and everybody should feel that way. And we talked about it a little bit before we came on. Nobody, everybody's not in the same place. Some people are stunned by their initial diagnosis, and that's where they're sitting right now. I've been sitting with a diagnosis for 30 years, so I'm at a totally different place. But I will never say, Oh, you shouldn't be stunned. It's gonna be fine. Move on. Like life is gonna be great.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Because it's hard. But yeah, I have seen that.
SPEAKER_00I mean, now I guess I should I should start reading you everything that's going on. I mean, that's probably not gonna be good and healthy for you. But probably not. Well, then I can corrupt you and like, yeah, don't you see all the negativity what's going on? I can make you think share the misery. Share the misery. Well, so what we were kind of talking about. Um, I was recently on a um page, one of the bigger pages, and this guy, again, not gonna, we're not gonna be a naming place unless one of you forced me to, but you know, this guy, he came on and made this long post and said, like, you know, I just need to get this out of the way, and came up to the point of basically saying, like, everyone is whining and using words that I don't like to use on our podcast and calling people names and this and that. And it wasn't just that. Then when people would comment back to him, they were telling him um, like the things that we know, everyone's in a different part of their journey, you know, you never know. Um then he, you know, then you say, Yeah, but everyone's just a little crybaby and all this, and and then he admitted that he was in 20 different groups, uh, or at least 20 groups, and I think I'm in like 25 of them. There's so many blind and low vision groups for for those of you out there. Yes, and I love them. And there's different, I mean, every single one of them has a different kind of vibe going on inside of it, too. It's like walking into like different clubs, you know. Um, but you know, he's saying this, and you know, I know you and I've talked about a charity, but it's it's the best example I can get. He's saying everyone cries every day on these, and I made this point that if there's say in every group it's a different amount of people. Some some groups have 20,000 people in them, some of them have 2,500. It's a widespread. But all some of them are really big, some of them are very big, but every you know, one day, a person from each one of those groups could effectively talk about something that's on their mind that's bothering them. And rightfully so, you came to the right place, that's what these groups were created for, to be there for each other, to hear each other out, etc. But if you have each group, you have 20 of them, one person for each one on that day decides to, you know, talk about something that's weighing on them. Well, you happen to see all those, then yeah, it's gonna feel like that, but you're in 20 different groups. And the the analogy is that if if you are uncomfortable by uh bad neighborhoods and police cars and the hood, if you will, if that makes you uncomfortable, then you probably shouldn't go vacationing there all the time. You know, you probably shouldn't move into that neighborhood and then sit there and complain about it because now you're the one that just seems um dumb and yeah, rude. And if you if you don't want that to happen, go get yourself a set of Mickey ears, go to the happiest place on earth and eat your churro and leave us alone. Get out of our neighborhood, man. Like, this is where we come to like have a hard time, dude.
SPEAKER_06And also, if I see a post like that, it will make me not want to share when I have something negative to share. Like, okay, let's just say, and there have been times, I will admit there have been times where I I would have loved to say, let's say I come and say, I couldn't even get out of bed yesterday. Like, I could not bring myself to pull back the covers, get out of bed, and even make myself food. Today I got out of bed. Like the people understand that, people support it. And if I saw a post like that, I'd be like, I can't share that there because he's gonna think I'm a whiny baby who needs to get over myself, get out of bed, and just be normal.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_06And I don't the point of those groups is for us to stand beside and alongside one another. Yes, and that hinders that and I don't like it.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. That is that is one of the biggest parts of that entire thing is that in it.
SPEAKER_06And oh my word, censor that. Why wasn't that censored?
SPEAKER_00Thank you. Sorry, thank you. Ding ding ding. I don't have a ding ding ding near me, but ding ding. We need one of those. Yeah, I know.
SPEAKER_02Time's up. Ding ding ding.
SPEAKER_00But that that is exactly it. And I can only imagine now you and I are in very different places in our journey than some other people. You and I are uh are more or less have become more accepting. Now, let's make this very clear, too, that anyone who says they don't have bad days, like that guy, kind of seeming like that there's nothing blindness isn't that bad, whatever. Dude, there are bad days. Who are you trying to put on a front for? It is we can always seem like we're great, but I promise you, there's always bad days, just like every other person's life on this planet. Exactly. We can live incredible lives and and virtually be happy every day, but there's always gonna be moments that just rip us apart that are harder.
SPEAKER_04Trip you up, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yes, yeah. And there's literally trip you up. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Those caution blood floor signs. I mean, till you but I mean that's exactly it. You know, in it's it's inevitable, but to to make it an unsafe space to make people feel like that they are not comfortable, they're not allowed to share things going on with them because no one wants to feel stupid. And that it that effectively will cause someone to keep their mouth closed about anything that's going on with them. And that could trickle out outside of our online community. That can end up in home, in their relationship. That because of these people online, they don't feel safe to talk about what's truly going on with them. The one place they thought that other people would could relate, they're getting shut down at.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And I think that is critical because I go to these groups because I need support from people who are like-minded, not necessarily like-minded, like we don't have to have the same views on politics and all that church and whatever, all that good stuff. But we have we have a like-mindedness in terms of the struggle that comes along with vision loss.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And I need to talk to people at times who understand and not go to my family because they don't understand, they're not visually impaired.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And just to yeah, I don't I don't know, to not be able to celebrate what someone in the visual impaired vision impaired community is doing by supporting their business or their creativity, but then we let something like that come across the page that is going to stifle me, I just think is wrong.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And it's sad.
SPEAKER_00It really is. And it it's it's amazing that what's sad about and kind of sucks about social media is that those people that make those kinds of posts get a ton of attention. And some of it's just people that, you know, it's called rage bait. And people just because other people comment, they're mad about this, or they, you know, some of the people they agree with it or whatever. But now it's getting more comments. So now it's continually being pushed to the top of the page and getting tons of attention. So the first thing you see when you get onto a page, like you, you know, you're coming onto the page off a bad day, something happened, something was bothering you with your vision loss, whatever, or you want to come to the group and talk about it. And the first thing you see at the top of that page is someone saying, There's so many crybabies here. Like, that's not okay. It's not okay to make anyone feel like that.
SPEAKER_06It's not it becomes like rubbernecking at the scene of an accident. Like it's you have to look. Like it's so bad you have to look. But like you said, it it generates um, it generates like almost like a cult following for that post. And and like you said, it's wrong. It moves it to the top and it does. Yeah, I don't want to see that when I'm glad I didn't see that. Yeah, and and because I'm kind of a cry baby.
SPEAKER_00Um have you had a podcast with you? I know.
SPEAKER_06Uh real nice. Real nice. You're cycling me.
SPEAKER_00I should have been banned. You should ban right there. That's what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, we're gonna deep that out.
SPEAKER_00Yep. Uh, but yeah, I mean, that's it, and then the uh the other side of it too is like the toxic positivity. And it took me so long to understand what this was.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, tell us about it.
SPEAKER_00So, like, for and I'm sure there's other people that are listening going, like, what is that? And it's kind of a newer term, but once you understand what it is, you'll realize you've seen it all your life. And it's those people that are overly positive that are just like, ha ha, happy good day. It's just a great day all the time. It's like, you know what? No, it was meant to happen. There's a plan, you know, whatever, like you'll be all right. Like you realize I just got shot in the knee. You'll be all right. You know, it's just they're just constantly positive. And and what it is, is extremely dismissive to the problem at hand, the problem that's being discussed. But it also really portrays that person as not a very good person. So all that says is you are not hearing this person, you're not willing to understand it, you have zero empathy for anyone else because otherwise you'd stop and listen. Because trying to be a positive person is great. You want to explain that. But the fact is that some people don't want to be positive right now, they want to endure whatever is going on with them. You can't just skip over the bad parts and be happy, go lucky. You never deal with anything then.
SPEAKER_06So, two things. I think that people are toxic positivity when they don't know what to say. Um, I don't a lot of it I don't think is ill intent. I don't think that it's um them trying to honestly be super positive. I I think it's that they don't know what to say.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06But the other side of it is if I put something out there that is difficult for me and I get shot in the knee and somebody says that it's gonna be okay. I don't, can we say shot? They're probably gonna bleep that out. Um, we get to bleep it out. Never mind. Um it if I have something difficult that I'm going through and honestly, if I share it, it's usually because I need to get it out and I don't want positivity at that point in time. I need somebody to come alongside of me and be in that pain or that grief or that fear with me. I do not want you to try to drag me out of it. Sure, you don't want to, you don't want to go the other way and say your life is going to be a miserable, flaming pile of crap.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06But I need someone to be there alongside of me in my pain, in my fear, in in my agony, and not try to pull me out of it. Sometimes you just need somebody there with you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That and that maybe uh, you know, you saying all that, it kind of makes me think maybe to for some people it's like a nervous tick to because they don't know you're right, they don't know what to say. And I, you know, I think I've seen that a lot in person. Now that I think back at some of the interactions that I've had to where, you know, I mean, I I love the it could be worse people. Oh my god, I love you people so much.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yes, yes, it's a good thing.
SPEAKER_00Like, are we regurgitating lines from the 40s right now? Is that all we're doing? Is that all you know, man? Like it's just it's it's such a I and I'm not saying it used to be like that, but I strive now to truly listen to someone. And it's not about the advice. I I want to give you advice if it seems necessary, but I want to try to apply whatever I'm going to say from your point of view, not from where I'm standing, because we're from where I'm standing, if I'm we're talking to someone that just got diagnosed, what we're gonna talk about from our point of view won't really match what they're feeling. It will it will really make them feel more isolated when we talk from where we're at, because they have no idea what that feels like. And that that difference between where they're at and where we are is going to seem massive. So instead just getting down and saying, Yeah, I remember what you're you know, what you're going through right now, actually, one time when I went through that, this is what it was like for me. Not saying, hey, don't worry, I'd been through that too. This is what's this, you know, this starts happening later. You just crossed right past everything that's bothering them and is truly hurting them.
SPEAKER_06I will say that you are very good at that. You are very good at being in a place with someone, um, either in a good place or a bad place. You are good, you are good about it. Better than me. I feel like I am like more of I feel things more emotionally than you do, but you are at no, I don't know. That's just my perception. But I'm you are better at walking alongside of people. Uh I have a friend who is going through a difficult time right now. She has in the over the course of eight or nine years, has lost four of her guide dogs for various reasons. And I tried to go alongside of her and I said something that was insensitive, and I related it to myself. And thankfully she's good enough of a friend where she came back and we talked about it. And I apologize for what I had said, but um she did bring this up. She's like, everybody says like it'll be okay, your next one will be better. Um, you know, just all of the and she's like, I'm not in my next one. Like, what? I I haven't even I'm not I'm not even applying for another dog yet. I'm not just let me sit here, let me stew here for a while. And I feel like you are good at that.
SPEAKER_00You are good at relating to people where they are, and that's that took some that took some time for me. That um, you know, as I've talked about in different places to where I went down really, really bad and was in a very not not safe space at all. And I when I don't know, it it took a long time for me to start. I just I knew how badly that I felt that I didn't want other people to feel like that. And to feel, you know, when my world feels like it's crumbling and I'm so close to the edge that other people are almost dismissing it, like I never wanted anyone else to feel like that. So to slow down and I also try to openly tell people, like, hey, if I say something that did not seem right or was maybe a little bit too much, please stop me and tell me. Like, I I want you to teach me what is the best way to interact with you. And I think once you set that tone with people, that it's it's a lot they're they're more comfortable talking now, but then you can get on the same page and you can understand that this person is here to speak and walk with you instead of to try to guide you the whole way.
SPEAKER_06You know, it's it's definitely that's exactly what we did, and it takes it takes putting your pride aside and saying, like, I I didn't mean to for that to come across that way, but um people there's people who are like you said, always tox toxic positive, they're always positive in a toxic way. I don't know how to say that right.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's buddy. Oh, you snorted. Yes, I know, like whatever.
SPEAKER_06Oh, you're bullying me. But they don't care, like they don't care.
SPEAKER_00If no. That's um, yeah, that's uh it and it's I think that's just such a big thing with support in our world. And and again, any world, guys, it it can be mental health, it could be something going on with family, right? It literally could be anything, but there is not a it's it is hard to because you the people you care about and you see someone hurting, you want them to feel better. Right, then feeling better is not the flip of a switch, even though you want it to be that way. And I tell some people this too is there are some things that you go through, and once you get through it, and it was disastrous. Everything I mean, that drive was horrid. But once you get across it and then you realize, like, wow, that should have been like the flip of a switch. It wasn't that hard. But sometimes you notice that on the other side. However, when you're going through it, you don't realize that it's not that easy. Going through it is the only thing that allows you to realize that you only had to flip a switch. That's what gave you the the ability to flip that switch. So I think it's really important there where you have to you have to really let people live through it and feel that pain and feel that hardship and that anger and and whatever they're going through and let them go through it. And if you care about the person, you'll do it with them. Now don't let them push it. Do not, I mean, there is a line of someone that is they want to remain, and I've been there, that you want to remain in that hard and that sadness and all that stuff. But there is a point where you should step in, I think, in a correct way and explain that uh, you know, I I know you're upset, I know it's hurting, but what have we talked about? What did you say you were gonna do? You said you're gonna do that, right? All right, let's go do that, let's go get that done then. You know, there there is a certain line to it, you know, but it is a hard thing. It's just it's always important, just like we talked about in another episode is what is the result of you trying to help someone? What's the result of that situation that you were looking for for that person you love, care about, the person you interacted with? Is it to just get through it? Here you go. And just show them it, or is it to be there for them in the way that they need you to be there for them? Because that's what I want to be.
SPEAKER_06I feel like I'm a fixer. So when someone has a problem, I immediately want to try to come up with a solution to their problem. And that's what gets me in trouble. People, like you said, people need to first of all, it's dismissive. Like it is, yeah. Oh, like in in one minute, I can come up with a solution to a problem that you've been struggling with for weeks. It's dismissive. And second, people, like you said, people need to experience those those experience those feelings, go through the hurt, come out the other side with support, with someone by them saying, I'm here for you, and then look back and see for themselves. So though that's how you learn. That's how you next time you come across something that's challenging, you know how to and you know you have support. You know I'm gonna be there, and that I'm not gonna be your fake cheerleader telling you everything's gonna be great. I'm gonna be there with you, but you're gonna get through.
SPEAKER_00Yep, absolutely. And I think that's one of the crazy things too about anyone who's on our group. I mean, I'm gonna say most of the people, almost any of them that are in our community and blindness and low vision, I don't care where you're how happy you are today. There, I have to believe that you have been through some pretty bad days.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_00We don't that this isn't something where you just keep smiling through. No one has that kind of fortitude. Life happens, it it happens. Now, if someone's out there, please, please teach us.
SPEAKER_06I'm sorry, but vision loss is not winning the lottery. Like, if I won the lottery, I might be happy all the time, but vision loss is not that.
SPEAKER_00But I just don't like those people who they will get, you know, they'll be dismissive of other people going through something because I get it. From where you're at, knocking over your water twice a day shouldn't be that big of a deal. But I remember that being really hard, like breaking down because uh yet again, I just spilled an open glass of water, ice on my floor, I'm wiping it up, and the whole time I'm wiping it up, I'm just remembering how blind I am, like and where it's going. And that's really difficult. But you've been there, and then good for you, you're where you're at. But if you can't empathize with someone who's going through the exact same thing that you probably have gone through, then you should probably find somewhere else to hang out. I don't understand what you're doing here then.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, why are you in the support group to tell everybody they're whiners?
SPEAKER_00Some people like that. Some people are just around just to be absolute mean people. And I don't understand what it in it's like you're going out, you're you're complaining about complaining, but you're complaining about the complaining, and I just don't understand what we're doing right now.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00I know if I don't like something, if if I don't like the way that this place serves my steak wrong, I'm not gonna go there anymore, man. Like let alone like let alone 20 people complaining a day.
SPEAKER_06Right. I mean, if you don't like the whiners, which I don't consider them to be whiners, I consider them to be people asking for help. Asking for help. But if you don't like the Sound of people asking for help, leave the group. Don't make us feel like crap. Just leave the group.
SPEAKER_00Go deaf so we can't hear, so you can't hear your screen reader, dude.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_02Oh, Austin.
SPEAKER_00It's just but Sarah, like if you're gonna be mean, like you get out of here. Like, I don't have any sympathy. And like, because I can, I'm a very nice person. I'm also a very real person. And if if you are cru cruel and mean to people, I have no problem of turning the table right back on you. But it's it just I don't and and that's it's even worse too because I think our community is so it's hard for us to be outspoken because of the way we're made to feel every waking moment when we go to go through TSA, when we're going out in public to I mean, the things that we continually talk about on this podcast, it's it's incredible of how much of an inconvenience we can already feel like in so many situations, even with our family sometimes or friends or whatever it may be, to where now we feel like a whole nother inconvenience. Like if I can't come here and talk about it, right? And and I also think about the things too, like you have no idea how much something what they said online typically is a fraction of how they're actually feeling. It could be way worse. And how do you know that what you say might not push them over the edge? It might be something like debilitating going on, and that one making them feel like that that was the last place, that is when bad things happen to people that don't deserve it, you know?
SPEAKER_06And like, and like you said, even in the in our everyday life and every aspect of our everyday life, uh we're minimized. Our and I'm I'm not being a whiner, I'm not being a baby, it's just the truth.
SPEAKER_01It is, yeah.
SPEAKER_06We're minimized, and it is our voices, it our voice is smaller, our decision making is a lot of times taken away from us, and to have that from our own community, it's unacceptable. I've I haven't experienced that personally. I find our community to be very supportive for the most part, but it's always the bad apple that, like you said, it's pushed to the top. That's what you see. It's the bad apple that gets the attention. But I have I have found our community to be very supportive of us, our podcast.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. They they are. There's so many good ones out there, and it's it's unfortunately like the more exposure you have. Like obviously, I'm on social media a lot more than you are.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So I have a lot more exposure to it all the time. And you know, it's just it's a numbers game. The more you see it, the you know, the more it's there.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. But that's I will I believe you. It's there, it's there for sure. The other thing is um, a lot of times you will like if someone has something positive going on in their life, uh, negative things come up more than positive. I'm not gonna jump on and say, oh, guess what? I didn't trip over anything today, I didn't knock anything over, and I didn't fall on my face. Like you go to these groups to get the support that you need. But and so you see the the the pain and the the hurt more often than you see, I had a brilliant day in a day.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But you had said something about the support aspect. And um, I think that it's really important to realize too, when you're going through things, I think it's very easy to, especially if you weren't always blind. There's some of us that became blind or are becoming blind, to where because of the change in your life, you think because you have already lived a life that's quote unquote normal, that you shouldn't be complaining about these things. And you have an ability to silence yourself quicker than others will sometimes. And sometimes some of the hard things that you feel are simply because you believe that no one understands, you believe that no one wants to listen to you. And we put ourselves in those positions. And I want people out there to know, even if it's not blindness or vision loss or anything like that, to where if you're going through something, the people around you who care about you will care. It might feel weird, it might be weird. You might have to explain it to them directly what it's like because they're not used to it. And that's okay. Understand that that it's no fault of theirs that they just don't understand exactly what you're going through, but that doesn't mean that they won't be there for you. And that was a hard thing for me to understand, I think, with this vision loss journey is I did keep my mouth shut because of that because I thought that like this gonna be a waste of my time trying to explain this to anyone. And it's not. I found out that people, when I became open to it, people were truly interested in knowing what's going on and they wanted to know more about it. People are more worried about asking me than I am about telling them. And I think that's you know, I think that's a big difference or a nuance that needs to be understood with everyone that it is okay. And if you see some rude person online saying whatever, we can only hope that they just get off the page. But you you can say whatever you want. If something's going in your mind, now I should probably clarify to anyone who's one of those rude people watching, don't say whatever you want. Have a heart, man, have some empathy. But if you're going through something, never think you can't say it. Just understand some people in this world they they they shouldn't be around us and in these in the and in these groups. They they they they uh so true, you know. They we but that doesn't because people are mean and rude and suck and might inevitably say something. I promise you, for every one person that's rude, there's another 25 that are amazing that want to hear you and want to offer you advice. Just don't let those people affect you. I know it's easier said than done, but the world is full of them, and eventually when you realize that they don't matter, nor do their opinions matter, then it you start to get who cares, whatever.
SPEAKER_06Exactly.
SPEAKER_00You know, and there's so much more to talk about, and I would love to hear from you guys out there the support things that you've gone through, and I think we really need to talk about getting into the physical support part and the the uh what did you say, the the support fatigue?
SPEAKER_06Support of fatigue, it's real and it's real, it and it's something that the sighted community would understand and would relate to, and that we ourselves go through um as we're supporting others while dealing with similar situations on our own. Yeah, but that's for another time, but I think we should dive into it.
SPEAKER_00So that yeah, we will absolutely do that. And we want to hear from you guys. Uh, we ask this all the time, but we're being very serious. I know it can sound like a cliche. Everyone's like, leave a comment. We actually mean it. We want to hear from you guys. We want to hear if you're sighted, leave a question. We would love to answer it. We would love to hear your uh your perspective on some of these things. If you have a question of someone who's in the blindness and vision loss uh community, ask it or a statement or an agreement. Let us know. It it helps us understand what is resonating with all of you, whether it be from the sighted world or the unsighted world. It helps us know what's resonating.
SPEAKER_06And if you're afraid to ask a question to someone you know who's visually impaired, ask us.
SPEAKER_00Yep, we'll tell you.
SPEAKER_06We don't, yeah, please.
SPEAKER_00And you're more than welcome to privately message us too. I know, I know not everyone wants to put themselves out there, and that's okay. Uh, I do think I will say to some of you, it's a big step to do that. It's really important that you work your way to do that because that's when you become proud and accepting of who you are and what your circumstances are. But everyone takes a different amount of time to get to that point, and that is okay. Take your time, take each step the way you need to, take a couple back steps because it's gonna happen, and then get yourself back up. It's all right. It's not a race to top the staircase because there's some people, you know, they say slow and steady wins a race. But some people, that is our real life, isn't it? Oh my god.
SPEAKER_06Slow and steady.
SPEAKER_00Wins the race. Yeah, wow. Just okay.
SPEAKER_06We win the race.
SPEAKER_00That that's right. But you know what? You know what's cool about going slow and steady when we're taking that staircase one step at a time and slower than everyone else, we understand every step that we just took. Yeah, every part of that step, every curve to it, every crack in it. We understand it. We understood how to get past it. That's something very important about taking your time and not rushing to the end of what you think it's supposed to be. Because I promise if you rush to happiness, you will suddenly not feel happy because when something else happens, you'll realize that you didn't gain any of the tools to deal with the things that happen in life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00All you learned how to do was push things off, and eventually it always creeps back. So I grew. But that's about all of our time today. I'm glad I got to air my grievances. I hope some of you were the admins, and these messages can get put around because I promise you guys, I am not the only one. Me and Charity are not the only ones. There are several people. There's another podcast we found where he literally puts in his intro that to share it because he can't get into these groups because they keep blocking him and whatnot. It's it's wild. And if you see someone in one of your friends, family members, or someone in the disabled community or whatever it may be, hit that share button. You have no idea how much it helps and how much it means for you to share that amongst everyone else. It takes a second. It does absolutely nothing to hurt you. It helps so much for everyone that's trying to do something and make something of what they're, you know, attempting and what they're building. But thank you so much for stopping by. Please make sure you like, follow, share, subscribe, all that stuff because it does help put us in front of those people that we are trying to get in front of that we truly feel like our message will resonate with them and that they can interact with us more and we can build this community more and more and help build that bridge between the sighted and the unsighted world. Make sure you follow us on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. That is at Central Vision Podcast. We are on Central Vision Podcast.com and we are also on YouTube for those of you who are listening. Thank you so much for being here. We'll see you next Tuesday.
